blocksWow, what a weekend we just finished with. My whole world has completely changed. Last week, Lori and I were kind of fighting and not talking much to each other. It was the last part of the week that this was going on. We were trying to figure out what we were going to do for financing the wedding since neither one of our families really has the money to do much. Mavis and I had been talking about trying to save money by cutting some corners. She was going to work with some of Lori’s aunts and/or cousins to do the cooking for our reception. I thought it was a great alternative to catering and it seemed to me to be an awesome heartfelt gift to get from her family members. Lori wasn’t having any of it! She didn’t want her family members to “feel put out”. I didn’t see it that way. I thought of it as a nice gesture, especially since they see Lori as one of the favorite family members. Lori was adamant about not having any family members do anything like that. So, Thursday and Friday of last week, we pretty much didn’t talk to each other at all.Thursday night, Lori got up in the middle of the night because she couldn’t sleep, and she typed up a letter on the computer that she left on the screen for me to see the next day. It had a list of her ideas for the wedding that she thought were shot down at some point. I responded back with a letter about 3 times the size of hers that I emailed to her. Still, no contact directly between the two of us.

Friday afternoon, Mavis sent me an email asking me to call her because she had good news. I gave her a call and she said that things were going to be taken care of. She told me that Pappy was going to give us $3,000 to make our wedding happen. They really don’t have the money to be doing that, but he said that he would take it from some money that he had set aside “just in case”. After much discussion with Mavis about why they shouldn’t do that for us, we settle the conversation with an agreement that things would be taken care of now. All we needed to do was the wedding planning. And during our fight, Lori, in frustration, said “Fine, then you do all the planning!! I’m washing my hands of it!” That was my cue to step up to the plate. I had, at that point, become the wedding planner. And Mavis would be my assistant.

Friday event, Lori gets home from work. I tried to talk to her about the “good news” from her mom. She didn’t seem too thrilled about it though. We tried to discuss things and it ended with her slamming the bedroom door and planting herself on the bed. I stayed in the office at the computer, not really knowing how to handle things now. She just started crying and didn’t know why I didn’t see things her way, so I was at a loss. The best thing for me, I thought, was to get out of the apartment for a little bit. I called Kim to ask her if she wanted to grab dinner and a drink with me so that I could cool down a little. She said cool, and told me that she would give me a call when she was on her way.

While I was waiting for Kim’s call, I sat at the computer with my earphones on to pay my American Express bill for work. As I was starting to log in, Lori walked up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and asked if she could talk to me. I took my earphones out and said “Sure.” But, I was still sitting at the computer trying to get the bill paid.

“Can you at least look at me while I’m talking?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said as I swiveled around in my office chair.

Her voice didn’t sound short or angry, as it did just 5 minutes prior. It seemed odd to me, but I thought that she had finally come around to my point of view and maybe realized that this whole fighting thing was senseless.

She took a breath in and said “I think I know why I’ve been so emotional lately.”

Finally, the answer that I had been waiting for. What was it? Was she going to admit that she saw things as her mom and I did? Was it her period coming on that was causing the crying and fighting? What could it be?

“Why’s that?” I asked waiting for a long speech about how emotional women can get at times.

At the same time that she started to answer, she brought something out from behind her back. It all happened so fast that I don’t remember what exactly I was thinking when it occurred. But it definitely rendered me speechless for a little while.

“Because we’re having a baby.” She said it as if she had told me that I had a voicemail on my cell phone or something. As she said it, she showed me the digital pregnancy test that had the undisputed words of mother and fatherhood on them “Pregnant”. That word means that we’re going to be having a baby, but I didn’t realize that at that moment. I was kind of shocked. What was funny was that when she showed me the pregnancy test, I was thinking “What the hell does a pregnancy test have to do with the fight about who was going to cook the food at our reception?” It was confusing for about 5 seconds (which seemed like an eternity), and then it hit me. pregnant….pregnant….PREGNANT….oh my God, she’s pregnant!! That means that we’re having a baby!

I turned in my chair so that I was facing the computer again. She was still standing behind me with a smirk on her face and the test in her hand. I put my face in my hands and repeated “Wow…Oh My God…Wow….Oh My God” over and over again. I wasn’t upset. I was just allowing the reality of the situation set in.

“Well, are you going to hug me?” she plead from behind me.

“Of course I am Sweetie!” and I gave her a great big hug. We were going to have a baby. We were going to be parents. I was going to be a dad. Everything came gushing in. A love for my future wife started to fill me up inside like no other feeling that I’ve ever felt. Back when we got engaged, we both agreed that we felt a change in our relationship instantly. With this news, it was even more profound. I couldn’t believe that the person that I love with all my heart is now going to be the mother of my child. It still hasn’t sunk in yet and it’s been a few days.

We both hugged, cried, laughed and tripped out on the fact that the pregnancy test said “Pregnant”. I asked her what made her take a pregnancy test all of the sudden. Well, she had been having bad stomach pains, but she thought that it was an ulcer. And I remember wondering how a couple days of not getting along could cause an ulcer. But she said that she wasn’t able to keep food down and that she was having some bad stomach cramps. Looking back prior to that, it all makes sense. We went to Galveston the weekend prior to all of this. While we were out there, she thought that she was about to start her period, but she never did. She spotted a little bit of blood one day, but her period never started. Someone at work late last week asked her if she was sure that it was an ulcer and not her maybe being pregnant. So, while we were not talking to each other Friday after our last argument, she thought that she could use a hard cider drink. She didn’t want to chance it if there was the possibility that she may be pregnant. She used a test that we had from a while back and no sooner than she could get the sample in, it showed her the message that she wasn’t expecting. Pregnant. At that point, she composed herself and came to talk to me.

Now once we hugged, cried and tripped out as I mentioned earlier, we remembered that we had another pregnancy test in my truck from a trip that we had made to Shreveport a month or so before. I ran down the stairs, went to my truck, got the test and came back upstairs. Once she got a sample for that test, we waited for the lines to appear. This was one of those tests that if there’s one line, you’re not pregnant and if there’s two, you are. No sooner than we got this one under way and it was obvious that there were two lines. Another positive confirmation on the parental front!

Again, we hugged, said we loved each other and seemed to forget about the reason that we were fighting in the first place. All of the sudden, none of that seemed to matter. It all paled in comparison to this news that we just got. We were going to be parents now. Who cares about who is going to cook or serve food. We are going to be parents! It may not be the timing that we wanted, but we both knew there was a chance of this happening, so it didn’t completely surprise us.

The first thing after that that we did was figure out who to tell first. Looking back on it now, we probably should have waited until we could get her to a doctor and get an official confirmation, but we were impatient and couldn’t wait. I called her mom, who was at dinner with Pappy and some other family members. I told her that I finally had a chance to talk to Lori about the wedding stuff and we had decided that September 30th may not work after all.

“Why’s that?” Mavis inquired.

“Because we just got double confirmation that you’re going to be a grandma.” I tried to say it as nonchalant as I could. As soon as the words left my mouth, she said “WHAT?!” and dropped the phone. Or handed it to someone….I’m not really sure. Then she started crying. She was always hoping that she would someday get that sort of news, and now here it was! She was ecstatic that her daughter was going to be marrying someone like me, that she loved with all her heart. But this news caused her to be beside herself. I think she is more happy than we are. Pappy was happy too, as were the rest of the family members that were there at the table.

Here I am on Monday, 3 days after getting that news. I’m certain that it still hasn’t really sunk in yet. I’m not sure what all I should be feeling at this point, but I do know that I’m excited. Friday night, after all of the news took place, I was so excited that I wasn’t able to stay asleep. I got up in the middle of the night, walked around, and then started looking at baby book reviews online so that we would know which book(s) would be the most worthwhile for us. Lori likes to tell people that I’m more excited than she is, which may be partially true, but deep down inside, I think that she’s got me beat. She’s the mom. She’s going to experience the next nine months with our baby on a much more intimate level that I could ever dream of. That’s not to say that it won’t be cool for me too. I plan on sharing every single moment of this with her that I can. I may be out of town for some things, but so long as I’m in town, I will be right there by her side through the whole thing. After all, she’s my baby’s momma. She’s my soon-to-be wife. She’s my soul mate and we’re in this thing together. We both made it happen and we’re both going to share this unique and joyous experience together. She is going to give me the greatest gift that a person could give to someone they love. She’s going to give me my child. And I love her for wanting to do that.

All weekend long, we loved on each other. And now the love seems so much deeper. It’s intense now. It seems like a flood of love has come over both of us. It’s really hard to explain, but it’s wonderful! I know that as we begin this family journey together, it’s only going to get stronger. We’re in it to win it now and there’s no turning back. I will never forget how that moment felt when anger and frustration (about the wedding stuff) turned into happiness, uncertainty, and excitement for the two of us. We are going to be parents now. We may not know how to be parents, but we’re going to learn. And our child will be the most loved child in the world. How could he/she not be with parents like us?

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