It’s 11:41 PM, but I could not wait until morning to write this blog. As many pregnant women know for fact, your back hurts really bad during pregnancy. To help alleviate some of my pain, I like to take a nice, warm bath right before bedtime. Tonight, as I was taking a bath, Corban was very active. I was laid all the way back in the tub reading a book. He started moving, so I put the book down to concentrate on feeling him move. He was kicking harder than he ever has before (of course, he is bigger than he has ever been before!). Anyway, I placed my hand on my bulging belly and felt him kick externally! WOW! My first feeling of movement outside the womb. It was incredible. Although it was 11 PM, I had to call Eric in Detroit and tell him (Midnight for him). I hope that soon, Eric will be able to feel him as well.

This comes to my point about miracles. I love having my husband home so that we can go to church as a family. This past Sunday’s message spoke directly to me. God has a funny way of doing that sometimes. Our pastor, Joe Champion, has been speaking a series about Miracles. Sunday’s was regarding the miracle of Jesus healing the blind man. And I paraphrase – As Jesus walked along, he saw a man that had been blind from birth. His disciples asked him, Jesus, who sinned, the man or his parents causing him to be born blind? Jesus replied that neither the parents or the man has sinned. But this (his being blind) happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. Jesus then went on to heal the man. John 9:1-41

I remember back when I first lost Logan. I blamed myself all the time. I just knew that it was my fault or something I did to make me lose him. That God was punishing me in some way. I’ve gotten better about not blaming myself, and this message really sealed it for me. I now know that me losing Logan is a way of God using me to be a hope/inspiration to other people who have lost children. Every pregnancy is a miracle. I am now carrying another miracle. There is hope for others who have had miscarriages, stillbirths or have lost babies. Look at what God has done for me. He promised me a family, and in March, I will welcome another little one into this world. I want everyone to see/know that this is all God’s plans for our life. I will never know why Logan is no longer here, but I will celebrate everyday that God has given me another chance at having a family.

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