I haven’t blogged in a long time, but I’ve been carrying something on my shoulders and I need to get it off.

I went for my yearly exam (which is really never fun) and my doctor found a lump in my right breast. He asked me, “Did you not feel this?”. Well, no I didn’t. I am still breastfeeding and only out of that boob, so it’s lumpy all the time. However, when he found it and made me feel, I could definitely tell it was different from the normal “breastfeeding lumpiness”.

So, now I have to get a mammogram. It sucks. I’m so worried about it. People are telling me, Oh maybe it will be nothing. Keep thinking positive. It’s probably just a cyst. Well, maybe and maybe. But that still doesn’t stop the wondering or worrying. Even if the results come back as negative, I will now always be checking myself for another lump. Will I have to go every time and get my boobs smashed (something I’m really not looking forward to)?

It’s funny. All my life I’ve complained about having big boobs. Now that there is a possibility they could be taken away, I want them. I now have to drastically wean Corban because you are not supposed to breastfeed for 2 days after a mammogram. This is something I wanted to do slowly so as to cause as little fussing as possible, but now it has to be done quickly. So, on top of being stressed about possible results, I’m going to have one cranky kid to deal with.

If you are the praying type, say a prayer for me and my sanity. I will post the results when I get them – good or bad.

Advertisements