Archives for category: Current Events


We had our ultrasound on Friday and the baby looked good!  I made a card and had the tech write in it what we were having.  We then took it to Round Rock Bakery and had them make a cake in which the filling was either blue or pink depending on what the baby was.

Saturday, we had a few friends over to celebrate my early birthday and the great cutting of the cake.  When we sliced it open, it was blue!

Here are a few pictures from the great event.

What will it be?

Our little family

Cutting the cake

I see blue! It's a boy!!!

Eric had to cut both ends of the cake, just to make sure!


Of Jack and Monica and Sam today on what would have been Jack’s 3rd birthday.

Happy birthday little one.  You are missed and will always be loved.

So small am I,
In a universe so vast.
So large my loss:
My mourning eases but still will last.

Under the stars
On our own small world
I know that others share my pain.
Love’s cruel cost–
Black holes within hearts
Where parental dreams once had been.

Peace finds me
In the stillness,
Surrounded high and low by a million suns.
God appears in the large and the little–
In the universal order
And in the grace that comes

From fellow mourners and understanding friends
Who walk with me through grief that dims, but never really ends

…..Elizabeth A. Pector

So, I’m pregnant again.  Baby #3.  Hence the nickname for this baby is B3.

I hate when people ask me if this is my first child (when Corban is not with me) or if it’s my second (when he is).  I’m always honest and say that this is my 3rd.  Of course, the nosy people then ask how old my other child is.  I always respond with the truth.  I lost my first son when I was 20 weeks pregnant.  Most look at me like they can’t believe I shared this information with them.  Some understand.

Me, I hate that I have to answer with the truth and that the truth ever happened.  It never gets easier.

Corban has started really becoming interested in pushing things around the house.  He can be found pushing a car around the house, a ball, a stuffed animal, a cell phone, and even a greeting card or piece of paper.  It’s hilarious to watch.  Well, recently, he’s started pushing a laundry basket around the house.  The basket seems to have just enough resistance to where it doesn’t get away from him since he doesn’t have full confidence in himself yet to walk on his own.  Click here to see a video of him pushing some of his stuffed animals around in the basket.  He loves doing this!  The only thing is that once he gets started, he doesn’t want to stop!  If he gets it stuck against the wall or a piece of furniture, he’ll start crying.  An animal has definitely been created here.  Who knew that baby toys could be so inexpensive!  Too bad as he gets older, things like that just wont be as cool.  His parents probably won’t be as “cool” then either.  We’ll deal with that when the time comes.


Another new development has been his understanding of the sign for “more”.  We’ve been teaching him a few signs using sign language so that he might be able to communicate with us earlier than he would if we just relied on his speech development.  One of the signs we’ve been using for a long time is the sign for “more”. While we’re feeding him, we’ll occasionally stop  and ask him “Do you want more?” while doing the sign for “more”.  Last week, while Lori was out running errands and I was at home feeding Corban, he finally did the sign.  The actual sign is made by holding the tips of your fingers together with your thumb on each hand.  You then tap both hands together at the tips of your fingers.  That’s the picture for it to the left.  No, that’s not Corban.  He’s not bruised, doesn’t wear blouses (is that what that shirt is?) nor does he wear bracelets! : )

So I was feeding him and then stopped.  I asked him “Corban, do you want more?” and then did the sign for it.  He looked up at me, looked real serious (as he always does) and then tapped one of his hands on top of the other one.  Not a bad start!  We did it again, and again, he did the same thing.  It’s gotten to the point now where he’ll do it some times without being prompted.  But, pretty much every time you ask him now, he’ll do the sign.  That is, if he is still hungry or thirsty.  If he’s not, he won’t do the sign.  How awesome is that?  It was just as exciting as I’m sure it will be when he says his first real word.

I called Lori to tell her, but she didn’t believe me.  Oh ye of little faith!  When we had dinner that night, I asked Corban the question and immediately, he did the sign.  Lori couldn’t believe her eyes!  I told you so!!  We’ve got a quick little learner on our hands.  It’s now time to up the ante and start teaching him more signs.  I can’t wait to see how much he can learn.

Corban has also gotten onto a sharing kick, which is great, being that he’s an only child and not around alot of other people very much.  He loves to share though.  He can have his blanket with him on the floor and randomly, he’ll look up at you adoringly and start to hand you his blanket.  Of course, we thank him every time he does that and tell him now nice that was of him to share.  He’ll also do that with food.  This morning, he didn’t want to eat the scrambled egg yolks that Lori was had on his high chair, so he started grabbing chunks of it and offered it out to Lori.  It was pretty funny.  He kept doing it, until all of it was gone.  What a smart kid!  Penny is another beneficiary of his sharing as well.  She also gets treats fed to her by the little man.  That’s another thing that he really enjoys doing…handing her treats.  He doesn’t always know to hold it in his hand in a way that she can take it from him though.  Some times, he’ll grab it and hold it in the palm of his hand and then offer it out to Penny.  It’s a funny site watching Penny try to pry his hand open to get to it.    I’ll have to see if we can get pictures of his various sharing activities and I’ll post them up here.

What else has he done that’s new?  Oh yeah, he’s starting to dance the baby jig.  You know the one – where a baby awkwardly bounces up on down while they’re standing up.  He gets a kick out of it.  He’ll do it and then look up at us and laugh.  He’ll surely be a lover of music as he grows up, just like his parents.

I think that’s it for this update.  I’ll think about anything else that he’s been doing and post more later.

This Christmas was one of many firsts.  It was the first Christmas for us in our new house.  It was also the first Christmas that we had a live baby.  Therefore, it was Corban’s first Christmas, period.  Well, not exactly.  His first Christmas was technically last Christmas of 2007 (Lori was 7 months pregnant with him at the time), but he didn’t unwrap any gifts, so it doesn’t really count.  This was the first Christmas that we didn’t have to travel somewhere.  Although we would have loved to have spent it with Lori’s mom and stepdad, I have to admit that it was nice not having to worry about packing up and driving somewhere.  We were able to just leisurely enjoy the holiday at home without thinking about when we had to leave.

Not counted as a first, Corban was sick on Christmas day.  It was his first Christmas to be sick, but his second holiday to be ill.  The only other time that he has been sick was on Thanksgiving day.  However, he had a fever over Thanksgiving.  At least this time, he was only feeling under the weather.  Snotty and coughing, but no fever.  That’s a good thing.

We were excited about Corban getting his big gift this year.  We got him a Radio Flyer Rock and Bounce Pony.  We ordered it from Amazon and it came in the original box (not in an Amazon box).   We had it sitting under the tree for a while without wrapping it.  Corban didn’t know any better.  He loved to go up to the box and kiss the kids on it.  That’s one of his things that he does now.  He loves giving kisses.  So, we finally got it wrapped and couldn’t wait for him to open it up.  We just knew that he was going to be excited about it.  Not only does he love to rip paper, but he loves to bounce up and down in his Jumparoo,  so it made sense that he would love the pony.

ponyNot so.  When it came time to rip open the pony, it was definitely an anti-climatic affair.  We had the video camera set up, and the Nikon ready to snap picture of an eccstatic baby ripping through his big gift.  Well, he showed pretty much no enthusiasm.  He did a good job opening it up though.  But once he got done opening all his gifts, he looked like he was ready for a nap, so we put him back in bed and opened our gifts to each other.   From us, Corban got the pony, a Leap Frog elephant that sings songs, a monkey, a book and calendar (both from National Geographic).  From Lori’s dad and stepmom, he got some books, a Baby Einstein DVD and some money to put in his savings account.


monkeypony4While he was napping, we put the pony together so that we could have it ready for him to ride once he woke up.  We saddled up his new monkey and waited for Corban’s nap to be over.  We brought him out and tried to get him excited about his pony.  Poor guy had a stuffed up nose and just kinda looked at the pony, then back at us – all the while, his tongue was hanging out of his open mouth so that he could breathe easier.  (Yes, concerned parents, we did try using the booger sucker to clear him up.  It didn’t help much.)

smilepony1At least once we got him in the saddle, he did show a little more excitement.  We tried to coax him to jump up and down by saying “boingey boingey boingy!” (which is what we say anytime that he jumps up and down.  He wasn’t doing much though.  But it did look like he was enjoying it.  He still has yet to voluntarily go up to it and try to get on it.  About all he has done with it recently is push it around the living room.  He’ll eventually learn though.  I’m sure before we know it, we won’t be able to get him off of it.  I’ll be fine with that.  At least it’s not the one that makes noise or music.  For his birthday, we’ll have to get him a little cowboy hat and some boots to go with it.

Later on that day, we headed over to Aunt Roni’s house.  Her family was there and they showered Corban with gifts.  Again, he didn’t feel good, but we made the best of it.  He made out pretty good – with clothes, a new teddy bear, a couple noisy toys, a dog puppet, an octopus that speaks 3 languages, and a new “smart” potty for when potty training time comes around.  This new potty will play music and dispense stickers that he can put on a chart once he flushes.  They didn’t have that when I was a kid!  Judging by all the gifts he got from Aunt Roni, Aunt Dora, Grandma Marti, Uncle Art, Aunt Erin and Aunt Kandi, he’s a very loved kid, without a doubt!

All in all, it was a good Christmas.  He still has Christmas coming from his Mimi and Papa (Lori’s mom and stepdad) and GiGi (his great grandma).  They are most likely going to be coming in town for New Years.  He’ll be excited to see them!  I’ll post more pictures then.  Until then, I leave you with some more Christmas  pictures.  You can click on any of them to see them full size.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Corban was sporting the new outfit Aunt Roni got for him.  He was the most stylin’ person at the party!  Watch out ladies, he’s gonna be a heart breaker!


I may complain, but I am thankful that I have to get up with Corban 3 or 4 times a night. Because, doing this means that I have a live baby to hold and love.

Be thankful for those that you can hold and love. You never know how long you will have them.

I love you, Eric. You are a wonderful husband and father and I’m so thankful that I am experiencing life with you!

Well, yesterday (Saturday the 25th) was Logan’s 2nd birthday.  I had been telling myself all week that I was not going to be upset or depressed.  Well, it didn’t work. 

I think this year was even harder than last year.  I think it’s because I now have a living son.  I could (and should) have 2 living sons.  It also didn’t help that Saturday was a beautiful day.  A beautiful day that, if Logan had lived, would have been perfect for a birthday party.

The 3 of us visited Logan on his day.  Eric cleaned Logan’s marker while I arranged the flowers we brought (Corbanslept the whole time).  We brought white daisies with 3 white roses to represent Mommy, Daddy & little brother.  I then tucked a candle shaped like a 2 at the front of the bouquet.  Of course, Eric and I shared hugs and tears and I can’t believe it’s been so longs.

I have several friends that have “items” that represent their babies to them.  For instance, when Monica sees dragonflies, it reminds her of her boys.  And when Kristi sees butterflies, it reminds her of her daughter.  For so long, I thought there was nothing that reminded me of Logan.  But, I was wrong.  Rain reminds me of Logan.  It was cold and rainy on the day I lost him and everytime it rains, I am reminded of him.  Of course, this isn’t really good for me now seeing as how we’re in a drought situation.  But, that just makes the rainy days even more special to me. 

I would like to say a special thank you  to Monica and Kristi for the sweet cards we received. Thank you also, Monica, for the shout-out in your blog and for the license plate with Logan’s name on it.  You must be a mind reader!  I was just looking for the same exact thing at the store but they were sold out.  Thank you!

Saturday was also a disappointing day.  Not a single friend or family member called to check on us.  We received no recognition about Logan’s day other than Monica & Kristi anda lady, Lisa, one of the clerks from Minnesota that Eric works with.  This hurt and still hurts.  I am not going to pretend it does not.  I will eventually get over it, but the wounds are fresh.  I will only give my mom a pass because she just had surgery and is taking some pretty strong pain meds. 

Now life will go on as usual.  I wish I didn’t have to live with the memories of losing a child, but I do.  Eric and I both do.  Perhaps we are stronger for going through this.  I would prefer to be weaker and not go through it.